The Liberating Practice of Finding Oneself
By Kristen Kowlessar
Anthropology & Sociology
Carlton University, PhD
Unceded Lands of the Algonquin Nation
Abstract
For those of us who are Black, Indigenous, or otherwise visibly racialized, what does it mean to find ourselves when we are situated in and shaped by a profoundly racist society? Based in part on the experience of living through the Freedom Convoy’s occupation of so-called Ottawa, I explore the notion of finding oneself as a liberatory practice and an act of resistance.
In conversation with key anti-colonial (Fanon, 2008; Coulthard, 2014) and anti-racist (Bannerji, 1995, 2000; Thobani, 2007; Hall, 2021) thinkers, this discussion follows three lines of inquiry: 1) reflecting on the experience of living through the 2022 Freedom Convoy; 2) engaging conceptually with whiteness (Ugwaba, 2020) and the idea of white permission in terms of exploring racialized identities; and 3) embracing waywardness (Hartman, 2020) over palatability as people targeted by oppression.
Additionally, I emphasize the need to engage with the “ugly” parts of meaning-making in identity, proposing the “consenting macabre” as a route to truly reclaiming ourselves.
Keywords: Critical Race Theory; Feminist Theory; Marginalization & Otherness; Community & Care; Rebellion, Refusal, & Revolutions